The Rain

It is raining. 
I am cold and tired. I watch the raindrops slip down the window. I envy them. They are free in their purpose.

I slowly turn back to look at you. Your temple is sweaty and veins are popping out. The disappointment in your eyes, let alone your animated hands plunges the hurt deeper into my heart.  I hear your voice,  your beautiful sexy raspy voice , but I don’t listen to what you are saying because my heart ,my heart can’t take it anymore.

For a fleeting moment our eyes meet and I see the warmth of love and then your eyes harden again. You run your hands through your hair. Beautiful long strong hands. How I long to be embraced in your arms.

I wonder to myself is this it?  It dawns on me that passion is either way. You hunch over. Silence. Silence so loud my head can’t take it anymore.

I hold myself tight. To feel warmer. To feel less exposed. To feel stronger.

The rain pour pounds heavier , louder, harder and heavier against the window. My heart is heavy. I  watch as the rain drops glide faster down the window pane.I relax into the calm chaos of the gliding raindrops. I close my eyes and lose myself to the sound of the rain outside. Such peace. Such calm.

Silence. Heavy rain pour.

I don’t know how long I am in this moment. Ever so gently you embrace me. Warm ,musky, fresh, and woody minerals. I lose myself deeper into your embrace. 

You softly whisper close by my ear..I forgive you……

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you – Colossians 3:13 NIV

Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love – MK Ghandi

Photo by  Webneel